Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
