So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
