Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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