oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
