I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
