I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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