i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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