shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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