Are we in a gay sports bar?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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