I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize