How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
