YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
