try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
