But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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