no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
