He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
