i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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