Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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