I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
