Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
