double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
