I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
