What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The uberlube is also flammable
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
