sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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