dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
