Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just pynch a tree in the face
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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