She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
