just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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