just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
