I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm really busy with my period
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