oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize