do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
