Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
