Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize