And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
