Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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