he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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