I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize