would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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