if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
