she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
