The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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