first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
