TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
