Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
