I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
