was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
