How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
