all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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