I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
