Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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