I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
50% drunk capacity currently
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
