I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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