Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
