thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
nutella sex= disaster
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
