that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize