Already got asked if we're dating
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
