2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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