At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
