i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
