Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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