I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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