A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
