Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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