i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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