sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
