I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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