I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
