why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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