I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
