am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
