where does the pee come out of this thing
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
